Considering the academic nature of my first blog, I needed to create an additional blog documenting my transition from an ultrasound technician in Hawaii to a medical school student in Armenia. Although this is a major disruption in the comfortable life that I have, I think I need to take this step to be successful in the future. I know a career in ultrasound isn't something to be ashamed of, but if I remain in this state, the future is just wasted potential.
Initially, my goals in college as a pre-medical student were to apply to medical school soon after obtaining my undergraduate degree. Due to various circumstances, I had eventually become derailed from my primary objective. Eventually, I fell into ultrasound and my career seemed limitless. Yet, here I am, nearly ten years after graduating from college, and I've decided to get back to my primary objective. Having worked in the medical field has given me a better perspective on medicine. I've come to interact with many physicians, both great and mediocre. Further, I've had countless patients who've run the spectrum of personalities and in interacting with them, I've learned a great deal more about myself. I've had experiences that were both fulfilling and disheartening, but through it all, medicine is a field that I enjoy.
My default mode is comfort in stability. Although I respond well to change, the process of it causes great anxiety and distress. It's easy for me to become comfortable and monotonous in my routine. The threshold required to cross into something novel can seem daunting. Yet, comfort in life is not necessarily fulfillment. Challenges are required to keep things interesting. On those occasions when I slide into a zone of comfort, it's hard to keep a healthy perspective on things. To use a physics analogy, it's as though a great deal of potential energy is building up. Like the waters that are held up behind a dam, eventually, a small break, a push if you will, can result in a hydrodynamic release of kinetic energy. Similarly, I must acknowledge that it took a push from my family to make me realize my wasting potential. Although 31 years of age isn't old, it's not exactly young either. I've reached a point in my life where time to determine the future is of the essence. The energy and drive required to succeed in medical school and the eventual process of becoming a physician may not last through another decade. Therefore, it's critical that I make a leap, no matter how risky, in an attempt to hedge the most potential from my future.
It's not an easy task to leave a place of employment that seemed so fulfilling. I had a great work environment and it would have remained so. Yet, that ever-questioning voice within me would not stay quiet. It's even more difficult to move somewhere vastly different than the environment I'm sued to. Suddenly, I'm going to be experiencing winter temperatures I've never known. There will be four complete seasons, no surfing, and an unpredictability that's the absolute opposite of the stability I've enjoyed. Even the changes in my personal life are not without their stresses. It's as though this one decision doesn't just effect me, but all those around me. Yet, if I don't grasp this opportunity, it may be a regret in life that I may not be able to overcome.
There will always be a part of me that will wonder whether this is the right decision, but ultimately, life is about taking chances. We have to gamble from time to time. If the outcome is worth the effort, then the nature of the situation dictates the risk. This is just the kind of risk management that can positively effect ones life. Calculating a risk is one thing, but sometimes, there's no point in factoring the odds. If all this sounds like I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm making the right decision, so be it. I need the kind of steel resolve that is required when making a decision that can greatly impact not only the discrete future required within a medical school program, but the distant one as well. Considering the difficulties of obtaining residency after attending a foreign medical school, I may need all the resolve I can muster. Yet, such is life, the vast unknown. The future is the undiscovered country, and luckily, at least for me, there is a whole undiscovered country in the undiscovered country.
